Alone and Alive

This time of year many of us begin to get our financial information together for our taxes. Getting your finances organized can seem like a daunting task. There are several tools that can help you keep track of your finances in 2012. If you are looking for an organizational system, here are some suggestions.

Keep track of expenditures using a computer management program. There are a number of programs available. Look at different ones on the internet until you find one that suites your needs. If you are not ready for computerized record keeping, an accounting book, bought at any office supply, will do.

For financial papers, try a monthly expandable file. This allows you to keep all important records in a single place. These records can be accessed easily at tax time. If you own a scanner, after your taxes are done, original records may be scanned and the original disposed of. Do NOT disposed of the originals of any TAX documentation, as it could be needed for an audit. Any scanned records should be backed up, on a separate drive, which should be kept at a different location from your computer.

If you have an accountant or other financial professional, ask for help in setting up your record keeping system.

Win A Copy of My Book, Alone and Alive,a practicle guide for dealing with the death of your husband, and a $25 Gift Card from Staples

To help you get organized I am offering one lucky reader a copy of my book, Alone and Alive,a practicle guide to dealing with the death of your husband, and a $25 Staples gift card. To enter follow the directions below.

1. Sign up to follow my blog through Google or by email.
2. Leave me a comment telling me your best organizational suggestion,that you are following my blog, and your email so I can notify you if you win.
3. Current and new followers are eligible to enter.
4. Only one entry per person or email address.
5. Open to United Stated residents only.
6. Dead line to enter is 11:59 p.m. CST April 15, 2012.
7. Winner will be contacted by email and will have three (3) days to claim their prize.

I will be at the West Texas Book Festival Sat. Sept. 24, in Abilene, with my book Alone and Alive: a practical guide for dealing with the death of your husband. If you are in the area stop by and see me.

I was in Austin last weekend at an elder law conference. After driving down and checking into my hotel I headed out to have some dinner. I chose to eat a Chewy’s, a Mexican food icon in Austin. When arriving at the restaurant I discovered the wait was around an hour for a table. (After all the food is great and it was a Friday night!) I chose to sit at the bar, which offered full food service, rather than wait to be seated.

As I sat at the bar, I thought about a friend of mine who isn’t comfortable eating out alone. She feels like everybody is looking at her and wondering why she is alone. Since an inflatable dinner companion doesn’t seem like a viable option, I spent my dinner time alternately watching some random sporting event on TV and thinking about how a new widow can deal with the discomfort of eating out alone.

The first thing for every new widow to remember is that no one is wondering why she is sitting alone. They are all too busy thinking of their own problems to even be aware of the woman sitting alone in a restaurant. If you are unsure about this, look around you and see how many of those people seem more interesting that your own problems. None, right?

I did find that sitting at a restaurant bar felt very different than sitting at a table. First you aren’t looking at all the other people, so you are not thinking about them. Second, at a bar you are usually sitting beside two other people. Nobody knows weather you are with people or are alone. (Of course they weren’t thinking about you at all, but if they had thought about you, it wouldn’t have been because you were alone!) Third, you don’t have to wait for an hour for a table with no one to talk to.

Of course if you are still unconvinced, I suggest you bring an old sweater to drape over the chair across from you, giving everyone the impression that your dining partner has just stepped away. What ever you do, enjoy your meal!

Alone and Alive was reviewed by the Midwest Book Review in their Aug. 12 issue. The easiest place to read it is on Amazon. Search by title and click on “see reviews”. It is the 2nd one.


I will be at the Hill Country Book Festival in Georgetown tomorrow, Aug. 20. If you are in the area stop by and see me.

It was one year after my husband died when I had to register my son for public school. Our plan had been to keep him in private school, but those plans changed with my husband’s death. So I was enrolling him for the first time, as a fifth grader. I had a talk with myself about how this was going to be OK, but when I began filling out the form my resolve faded. When I had to write “deceased” on the line for “Father’s name” I lost it completely. I started sobbing, getting myself under control enough to tell the anxious looking clerk what was wrong. After I turned in the paperwork, I almost ran from the building. As I approached my car, a woman called out to me. She had been in the office registering her child and had witnessed my outburst of grief. As I turned she took off a beautiful blue cross she was wearing and handed it to me. “You need this more than I do right now,” she said. “The grief will get better.” She hugged me and walked back to the school. I thanked her and stared at her retreating figure, then at the sparkly blue cross in my hand.

For the last 9 years that cross has been in my desk drawer at my office. Every time I get a pen or other supplies from my lap drawer, I see the cross and it reminds me of the kindness of a stranger when I was in distress. And she was right. It did get better.

I am having a book signing at the White Rhino Coffee Shop on Beltline in Cedar Hill on Monday Aug. 15, 2011. It is from 6:00 to 7:00. If you are in the area come by and buy a book, get the book you already have signed, or just visit. I look forward to seeing you there.

Now what does pie have to do with being a widow? Last weekend, Thomas and I drove to Glen Rose, Texas, just to get away for the day. We enjoyed the rolling terrain and spent some time exploring the small downtown area. Then we found it. A shop named “Pie Peddlers”. They have homemade pies in an amazing variety of flavors and, of course, coffee or other drinks. We sat at the round table and took a chance on their pie. I had chocolate and Thomas had buttermilk pie. They were both really good. So good that we ended up taking a whole buttermilk pie home and it was as good at home as it was in the restaurant. So if you are ever in Glen Rose, Texas, stop by for some pie. But call and check their hours, they are only open three days a week.

So what does pie have to do with widowhood? Maybe, it is just more evidence that you can be happy again after your husband’s death. You may be Alone, but you are Alive. Or maybe, sometimes, we just need pie!