Alone and Alive

Presnell, Romaine, A Journey Through Widowhood, Centering Corporation, 2004.

This short book follows psychotherapist, Romaine Presnell’s, journey from grief to happiness following the death of her husband. The book is excerpts from her journal and is easy to read. It expresses her emotions and questions which were instantly recognizable as feelings and questions I had after the death of my husband.

Ms. Presnell express her feeling of uncertainty, pointing out that she was neither young nor old when she became a widow. Perhaps the most striking thing about the book is her honest portrayal of the questions she asked as her emotions changed. Her journey clearly illustrates many of the expected reactions, from emptiness to anger, that the new widow feels.

But perhaps the best message the book provides is one of hope. We see the author emerge whole and happy following her long journey through grief. It is a journey I can identify with and an ending I recognize also. I have emerged from my grief whole and enjoying life, as has the author.

I can highly recommend this small book to anyone who has lost a spouse. I provides the reassurance we all need that the sadness is normal and that it won’t last forever!

Thelma Zirkelbach writes a blog entitled Widowsphere: A circle of Hope, which provides poignant insight into her own journey as a widow. She published a review of my book, Alone and Alive, several weeks ago. Sunday, July 16, she ran a brief interview with me, discussing how the book came into being and some of the issued I faced as a new widow. If you are interested in reading the interview, go to www.widowsphere.blogspot.com and check out the July 16, post.

Just when I thought nothing could surprise me and make me cry, my emotions ran out from behind a tree and mugged me. I was continuing to clean out the large closet in my den and opened the box of papers. In the middle of the box was an envelope from Bob's employer. It contained e-mail messages from across the country. These messages, sent to his employer, expressed not only condolences, but also discussed Bob's many wonderful attributes, including patience, kindness, and his chronic cheerfulness.

I had not read these e-mails before and decided that my son, Thomas, would enjoy hearing them. I began reading them out loud. As I read, tears began to well up, as I recalled all of Bob's good traits, the things about him that attracted to me to him in the first place and kept our marriage strong. Suddenly, I missed him tremendously. It is in those surprise moments that we realize that grief is never fully gone, but we can go on to live joyous, full lives alone. Be patient with yourself, and remember, it takes time to heal.